Date two with "The Groper"

Below is account of a second dinner date (last June) with who's become known as "The Groper."

I was right; the Groper made no plan. “When and where do you want to meet?” via text was his response to my text: “are we still on for tonight?” Now this is a nice guy, a gentleman, a single dad, teacher, open, seemingly honest. How does a man get to 36 without learning how to ask or take a girl out? Thus far in my current quest, this is a common occurrence. I’d say at the very least 50% of the single men in my age group have no clue how to man up, ask and take the lead on a date. I wonder if it has something to do with the state of the women’s movement in our society. It’s like the back lash of our quest for equality. We have scared the men away from the confidence to reach out to a woman for a date. Or maybe he’s just not that into me (accept for when he’s drunk and gropey).

My son will know how to date. I believe that men raised by single mothers turn out to be the most kind, sensitive-to-women and chivalrous men around. I’m realizing that dating should be taught.
How did you learn? There are lots of things about dating and sex that I wish I didn’t have to learn on my own.

Back to the date…No joke: after a couple discussions, the date plan was changed twice and we left the first place for another after we’d been seated. But we did end up at a nice Italian right on the main street down town. Great food, good conversation, flirting, open conversation. Highly enjoyable. Until the bill came. Am I wrong to want and expect to be treated to dinner? I offered to pay my part; I usually do. It seems the right thing to do even though I want to be treated. But this time I offered because he mentioned being “nervous to see the bill.” “Pay what you want” was his response. Hmmmmm…really? Reaching for my wallet, thinking ‘oops, do I have any cash?’ I said: “how about I pay the tax and tip?” Dinner total was only $58. He ended up covering the total. Was it a joke? Did he actually not want to pay? Who knows?

Now here’s the kicker. When it’s time for the date to be over we get to my car and he asks for a ride home. The first time we met he took a taxi to meet me out at birthday party at night. Red flag, right? No car? No license? DUI? Drunk before a dinner date? Well, I’m not going to skirt around any subject with a man I met on a dating website. I mean, we’ve both paid money to meet people, looking for a match; I need to know all the pertinent information up front.

I ask the questions. He “got a ride” to the date just in case he was too drunk to drive home. I’ll give him one thing; we met at a bar before dinner. But, I’m thinking it’s appropriate for a man to pick up a woman on a date and take her out. Am I wrong?

If his story is true the good thing here is that he is extra careful not to drive drunk. The bad news is that he considered getting that drunk on a first official date with me. Plus, second time meeting and no car sighting is odd in this county. Unless you’re a cyclist, you’re driving. Not the best public transit area.